This article originally appeared on chivmen.com

When your marriage or relationship feels like it is heading to the point of no return, you should consider couples therapy to ensure that you don’t lose the person that matters most to you. Every relationship has issues that they will inevitably face.

But for some, the problems slowly start to become too much, and you may feel that the problems are making you question your choices and wonder if you can find your way back to the love and joy you used to experience. Many couples don’t want to lose what they have because they are in love and know that they want to try to make it through.

Counseling Helps You Determine What You Need

In a relationship, every man and woman will have individual needs and the needs that they have as a couple. However, when each person’s needs are being ignored, or one person feels that their needs are not being met, this creates tension. When you have sessions, your counselor will be able to talk to both of you and gently help you realize what needs both of you have as individuals and a couple.

For example, let’s say Betty and Hunter are in a relationship, and Hunter wants to work longer hours, and Betty needs to feel appreciated but instead feels neglected. Because of their issues, a counselor can help them understand how Hunter can help Betty achieve her need and how Hunter can meet his. As a result, the relationship could be on the tentative road back to love.

Another example to understand different needs is Adam and Rose. Rose has health issues and cannot have children, and has fallen into a depression. Adam desperately wants to be a father and has taken care of Rose since she got sick.

Because of everything Rose has been through, she’s not sure if children are something she wants anymore and wonders if she has the heart to try to be a mother after what she has gone through. These two needs are pulling each person in dramatically different directions, and this issue has ruined many relationships because this is a deep impasse. However, a counselor has the training to help the couple realize what they want and help them through this difficult time. Though their needs are vastly different, it is not impossible to rebuild their relationship.

Couples Counseling Helps You Uncover Your Fears

In every relationship, you will also have fears. Fears of being abandoned, fear of love and what it represents, fear of trust, literally hundreds of different areas. Having couples counseling can help women uncover what is holding them back from the relationship and how to move past it, and they can help men do the same. The exciting area that most people will realize is that the fears of men and women are both similar and on opposite sides of the spectrum.

Like the ones we mentioned above, Fears can cause couples to break up, and they never reconcile later. By choosing to attend couples counseling, you have a professional with years of training and professionalism with these particular issues, and you will find that they can get to the heart of your fear and what is behind them. In unlocking why you are afraid, you can slowly move on from your fear. This is a process that can take a long time, and it never happens overnight. It takes dedication from the therapist and the couple. Both parties need to avoid giving up, and they need to be open instead of secretive. In doing so, you can repair the hurt hiding in your heart.

Couples Counseling Can Heal Your Pain

Whether you are married or a couple having issues, couples counseling can be a lifesaver. While many people have misconceptions about this type of thing and feel shame, there is no need to feel that way. Therapy and counseling are becoming more and more common, and people are becoming more accepting. As a result, more people realize the benefits that it can offer. Don’t wait until your relationship is far beyond repair. Instead, get the help you need for yourself and your heart.